Watching lone lost families on ITV1 and it make me cry for an hour none stop, and subsequently I now have a headache! It makes me think of F and the questions he will one day ask. Who wants to feel unwanted? He isn’t he is loved so much. Yet it will never be nice to be told you could have had a family before you contacted HIV which you mother gave you, after you where born. Yet every babies there I have ever held will ask these question, some will get answers and others wont. As a person who wants to adopt one of these little jems I wonder if I ever will and how hard it maybe to not have given birth to them or have that connect. Yet at the same time how does the adoptive parent act, because they have every right. But the ITV program as fabricated as it is I think its amazing that after 50 years you can feel something for some you haven’t seen in forever.
On another note about 2 weeks ago I went to Fierce Festival which is a Birmingham Art festival around the city. I went to Trove to see Uninvited Guest performance of a piece they had devised called Love letter from you heart. They were made up of dedications from the audience, mine and Jades (my friend) included. It got me thinking about the future, there is to much i want to do with my life and this makes me think seriously about doing some sort of producing.
So time for a list of things
1.go back to SA long or short
2.Give 2/3/4 years of my life to Africa
3. teach in SA
4. intern in production
5. have fun, find a guy
6.buy a house
7. get married
8, family? BIG QUESTION
I suppose right now the list isn't to big! But there's time! And i was reminded to that i am only 20. when you say it it means nothing but written down its not all that bad!
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