Onwards and upwards

New Goals New heights

Having been home for just a week in the Easter Break somehow have managed to come back with a spurt of confidence and a good outlook. It wasn’t that this wasn’t present last term but I felt very deflated toward the end of term, this may have had something to do with my dyslexia results. All of that is still ongoing but not anything I need worry about at all.

This image is going to be my source, along with a few others this term. I have been to focus on having someone to share my life with that I have been moping around. So time to do things my way and if something or someone turns up so be it. I am not the girl that will go looking for these things, but this term is about me. University is going to take off as I have 4 essays, a show and a marked assessment! And job! So think I won’t be board!

Yesterday I got my pack for the Breast Cancer Moonwalk which is in 4 week and I am walking a marathon of 26.2 miles! I was prepared-I have done little training, but yesterday it became rather over whelming. After a few tears shed I decided it was time to get a grip and use the time I have left wisely! So the goal is to try and walk to and from uni as much as I can which is  5ish miles. Then at least I am racking up about 15 miles a week and then to and from workJ. I want to achieve this so much, and its only now (typically) that I am beginning to worry about but hopefully with a few more miles under my beat and the hype and adrenaline of the night itself I hope I will be alright!

No more worry about being alone or single, just happy to love myself and push onwards!

Easter Holidays

Watching lone lost families on ITV1 and it make me cry for an hour none stop, and subsequently I now have a headache! It makes me think of F and the questions he will one day ask. Who wants to feel unwanted? He isn’t he is loved so much. Yet it will never be nice to be told you could have had a family before you contacted HIV which you mother gave you, after you where born. Yet every babies there I have ever held will ask these question, some will get answers and others wont. As a person who wants to adopt one of these little jems I wonder if I ever will and how hard it maybe to not have given birth to them or have that connect.  Yet at the same time how does the adoptive parent act, because they have every right. But the ITV program as fabricated as it is I think its amazing that after 50 years you can feel something for some you haven’t seen in forever.

On another note about 2 weeks ago I went to Fierce Festival which is a Birmingham Art festival around the city. I went to Trove to see Uninvited Guest performance of a piece they had devised called Love letter from you heart. They were made up of dedications from the audience, mine and Jades (my friend) included. It got me thinking about the future, there is to much i want to do with my life and this makes me think seriously about doing some sort of producing. 

So time for a list of things

1.go back to SA long or short

2.Give 2/3/4 years of my life to Africa

3. teach in SA

4. intern in production

5. have fun, find a guy

6.buy a house

7. get married

8, family? BIG QUESTION

I suppose right now the list isn't to big! But there's time! And i was reminded to that i am only 20. when you say it it means nothing but written down its not all that bad!